Cloudmanic Labs

Ah, feedback. Life is unbearable if you cannot speak your mind, but in our everyone’s-a-winner culture anything short of ebullient praise is viewed as an affront. And so, to show that you’re not a glass-half-empty sort-you see the positive stuff, too!-you start with a few compliments before slipping in the unpleasant news. But you don’t want to end on a bad note so you close with something upbeat-another compliment or some hearty encouragement. Congratulations. You just served a “shit sandwich.” In more refined circles it’s called a “praise sandwich.” Either way, it’s a classic rookie mistake. Your protege will take one look at this questionable offering and either see only the praise or only the criticism. You end up with the status quo or a new enemy.

So how should you deliver criticism? Bluntly. If you don’t like the way I do something, tell me directly so that I have a clear understanding of your perspective. Because I’m a mature adult, I will give your words serious consideration. I might challenge you on certain points, but you’ll have a better chance of getting your message across. Your respect for my maturity might even enhance our working relationship.

However, if you can’t bring yourself to be direct, maybe you should consider your motivations more carefully. Ask yourself:

• Does this person actually need this feedback, or am I just being an ass?
• What do I gain if this person takes my advice?
• Is this criticism worth giving? Will it help this person grow?

Most of us find it painful to give criticism because we want to be liked. What we have to say usually isn’t as bad as we imagine, but fear turns us into nervous children cowering before authority. That’s when you know the shit sandwich is about to be served.

So, if you must give criticism and if you think it’s helpful, give it straight. The other person might not like you for it but will probably be grateful in the long run. And if you can’t be direct, keep your mouth shut. Do us all a favor and skip the shit sandwich.